


behind that sugar (there's only lies)

by homoeroticmisogyny



Category: Homoerotic Misogyny (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Much Ado About Nothing, Multi, Reluctant jealousy, and tell me they wouldn't be beatrice and benedick. TRY TO TELL ME, pink lemonade is such a Them song okay, slowburn, slutrio
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29315556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticmisogyny/pseuds/homoeroticmisogyny
Summary: Atrox Academy is putting on a production of Shakespeare'sMuch Ado About Nothing,and the casting might prove more contentious than hoped......or maybe, just perfect.
Relationships: Audrey Riverdale-Kuragin/Elena Kuragina (Homoerotic Misogyny), Audrey Riverdale-Kuragin/Elena Kuragina (Homoerotic Misogyny)/Isabel "Issa" Banquo, Audrey Riverdale-Kuragin/Isabel "Issa" Banquo, Isabel "Issa" Banquo/Elena Kuragina (Homoerotic Misogyny)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	behind that sugar (there's only lies)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Pink Lemonade by The Wombats! (which IS a slutrio song you can't tell me it's not)

Audrey didn't mind playing the villain. Someone had to do it, after all. Lucy didn't have the anger, Dieke didn't have the panache. Elena could've done it, she thought, but not nearly as well. Elena's cruelty was too careful, too measured. She liked to put on a show. And she was divisive, sure, but not  _ reviled.  _ Making an audience hate her? That was firmly Audrey's realm. And she knew damn well she was excellent.

She initialled the cast list, tucking her pen behind her ear and catching up with Issa. "You saw?"

"I saw." Issa grinned. "You're perfect. We all already hate you."

"Harsh." Like she didn't know. Issa threw open the door to the clubroom, where half a dozen kids in blazers were already flung about, tending to their various teenage disasters. Lucy was performing her standard pre-club routine of pretending they had any real structure, a quickly dissolving attempt to get anyone's attention. Audrey had to admire her dedication. Still, it was better this way. Atrox was a prison as it was: the last thing they needed was another timetable.

"My dear Lady Disdain!" Elena had her feet up on her desk, her high-heeled oxfords stacked neatly at the ankles, somehow both ladylike and crude. "Are you yet living?"

"I wonder that you will still be talking, Signor Benedick." Issa shoved her feet off the desk, and Elena feigned offense, a scandalized scoff.  _ She likes to put on a show.  _ "Nobody marks you."

"That's out of order," Elena said, pointing an accusatory finger. "This play is going to be a disaster."

"Yeah, with you there, God help us." Issa slid into her chair, shrugging off her blazer. "What are we doing today?"

"Most of us are in the show, right?" Tal was sitting on a table, with a book open on her knees she clearly wasn't reading. "We should run through."

"We'll have to do that in rehearsal," Elena pointed out.

"But I want a headstart on calling Audrey  _ the bastard. _ " said Issa.

"You already do that."

She shrugged. "Helps me get into character."

"Oh no. I'm Pedro," said Emma, who was circling a hole in her homework with the point of her pencil. "This means we're siblings, doesn't it."

"You wish." Audrey winked. Max gagged.

"Are you mad I took your role?" Elena sounded less concerned and more curious, like she'd find the answer amusing either way.

"No." Audrey wasn't. She'd wanted Benedick, sure, but this made sense. She knew she'd play a better Don John than Elena would, even if Elena wouldn't be a better Benedick. Some sacrifices, she supposed, had to be made. "You're the one who has to kiss Issa."

"You don't want to kiss me?" Issa tutted. "I'm wounded."

"That depends, want to change my mind?"

"I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."

"Save yourself for Don Pedro, bastard," said Elena, kicking her legs back onto the table. "We know what you're into."

Emma groaned. "You'd better stop talking before I spraybottle you both."

* * *

It was only the first week of January, but their production was themed for Valentine's Day, and the stage was awash with corny paper decorations, half-strung fairy lights and spoils of candy hearts. Audrey thought she saw Elena visibly flinch. Maybe she was right for Benedick after all.

Issa leaned over. "I give them fifteen minutes before they start complaining."

"I give them five."

"I think it's cute," said Lucy, picking up a scrappy little heart with the words  _ Be Mine  _ in ugly, juvenile cursive. Probably someone from the crew. "See?"

Elena plucked the paper from her hand, and made a show of presenting it to Issa with slightly more grandiosity than was really necessary. "For you, my dear."

"Aw, babe." Issa jumped into the stage, neglecting the stairs. "But I'm already taken."

"I don't believe you."

"I am. I've sworn a vow of chastity."

"Your skirt says otherwise."

"Slutshamer."

Elena gasped. "Never."

"Internalized slutphobia," Audrey put in.

"Says you."

"I support sluts wholeheartedly," she argued, climbing the stairs onto the stage. It really was a bit sickly, all that pink.

"Not just with your heart, I think," said Elena, leaning on her elbows on the lip of the stage. Her fingers were toying with the corner of a crepe paper streamer, shredding it into confetti. The set crew ought to see this.

"Oh yes. My mind too."

Elena laughed. "I'm glad to hear it."

From behind them, the director shouted, "Everyone onstage!" Elena pushed themselves up with their hands, and Audrey had to jump out of the way to avoid them.

"Fuck, I forgot my script," muttered Elena. "Max, get my script from my bag!"

"You're a mess," he said, but he did it anyways, sliding it to her feet as he sat down. She grinned.

"My savior."

Audrey rolled her eyes, and took the seat labeled  _ Don John _ . Elena had been right, just a read-through today, a circle of folding chairs in center-stage, branding them with their new identities. Issa was only two seats over, highlighting her script with a pastel marker that stained the pages pink. The paper looked like it had caught the same Valentine's fever as the set, thick blocks of rosy text that Issa would have to memorize. Someone had once told Audrey that it was bad luck to count your lines, but she had a hunch they'd only made it up to stave off jealousy. She'd count them all tonight. Just out of curiosity.

"Let's go, guys, we don't have all night." Jeremy clapped his hands. "Zoe, you start."

Zoe cleared her throat. "I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina."

The messenger was a first year with too much spunk for his own good: "He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him."

Audrey flipped through her script. She had one line in this scene:  _ I am not of many words, but I thank you _ . Seemed that was true enough. Issa wouldn't miss the opportunity to point out  _ that _ irony. She highlighted it anyways.

Issa was already off, and Elena was eating it up, a stupid smirk on her face as Beatrice ground Benedick to dust. Audrey supposed she could see why they were cast: all easy arrogance, vague disdain, constant amusement. Elena was confusing, that way, like they were playing a role they'd written for themselves, a role that shifted to fit the scene. Audrey had her characters too, sure, and plenty of them. But with Elena, she was never quite sure where the girl ended and the persona began.

"I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love," said Emma.

"With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord," Elena shook her head. "Not with love."

* * *

"You're a natural," said Issa, poking at her latte with a stir stick. "I knew you'd make a good villain."

"Is that a compliment?" asked Audrey.

"Yes." Elena was eyeing Issa's frilly drink disdainfully, her cup of black coffee clacking under the cheap metal of her rings. "Of course it is."

"I was just surprised Issa deigned to compliment me."

"I'm not unreasonable."

"News to me."

Their scripts were spread out on the cafe table. Elena (who'd given up highlighting halfway through the read-through in favor of whispering jokes to Max), was once again neglecting her task, scribbling something in the margin of a monologue. Issa leaned over. "Is calling Don John a 'whiny bitch' official Shakespearean commentary?"

"I'm an academic," Elena insisted.

"You have a lot of whining to memorize yourself," Audrey reminded her.

"Oh, don't worry, you're still our reigning bitch baby." They shut their script, shoving themselves out from the table. "Eat my croissant while I'm gone, I don't want to."

Issa took up the offer without further prompting, leaning back in her chair as Elena disappeared. "This show is gonna be so good."

"Would be better if I were Benedick," Audrey pointed out.

"You told her you didn't care."

"Well, yeah. I'm not gonna  _ hand her that." _

Issa shrugged. "Fair enough. I think you'll be a hot villain, if it's any consolation."

"Oh? Do you?"

"Not like  _ that.  _ Fuck you."

"Fuck me yourself."

"Gross!" Issa threw a chunk of the croissant at her. "Jesus. Save that shit for Elena."

"I'm making do!"

Issa shook her head. "I'm glad she's Benedick. I couldn't stand this in my face for a whole month."

"Like she's any better."

"Hey, she scares me. You just fill me with rage."

"I guess I'm a good villain, then."

"You are." Issa sighed, turning back to her script. "Now leave me alone. I have to memorize my insults."

Audrey rolled her eyes. She didn't have anything more to highlight, but she acted like she did, flipping through her pages with the marker she'd pilfered from Issa's ridiculous little pink pencil case. _Thankless work_ , she thought. But she didn't really mind playing the villain.

They all had to be good at something.


End file.
